What Everyone Really Wants

December 6, 2012

There are few feelings in this world as fulfilling as a sense of mastery.  It’s the feeling of putting your heart and soul into something.  Failing and learning.  Then trying again with a more nuanced understanding of the forces at play.  Failing and learning again.  Then finally and eventually—sometimes weeks, months, or even years later—“getting it.”  You see the angles.  You know how to react.  You know where to engage, and where not to.  You know how to win.

It feels good.

That said, a sense of mastery takes work.  You have to be willing to put yourself into the game before you really know how to play it.  That can feel awkward.  You have to be willing to know you’ll lose for a while before you can figure out how to win.  That can feel frustrating.  And you have to be willing to risk who you are in order to pursue the promise of who you can be.  That can feel scary.

The only way I’ve ever found to tolerate the awkwardness, frustration, and fear inherent in pursuing mastery is to know that the prize on the other side is completely worth it.  In fact, it’s so worth it that once you get to the other side, you will think to yourself—I can’t believe I almost let my fear stop me from pursuing this thing.  In retrospect, the downside was minuscule compared to the upside.

Mastery provides something money can’t touch.  And it’s what everyone really wants.  Calm confidence and the knowledge that you’ll be able to handle whatever comes your way.

That’s the real reward of risk.

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